When I went to Marmomacc in September my mind was perturbed by the fear I was probably attending for the last time, and I felt vaguely uncomfortable, but as a matter of fact this melancholy was triggered by a general insecurity concerning my position at the Chamber of commerce. Time before my boss had told me that the two promotional departments would be merged into one, and one of their head officers would be destined to some other assignment. There and then, I brushed the subject off with nonchalance, put on an unaffected air and kept the strategy of not coming out into the open. I was directly concerned, but I didn't let such a vague announcement worry me much, although I could take it as a preparation for a decision already made about who would be moved.
After the summer, I was told that as an outcome of a complete overhaul of everybody's role in the organisation, mine was one of the hardest to decide – a pretty start – and I was told I could be asked to take over the communication department. Now it was no longer convenient to play the ostrich that hides its head in the sand before an imminent danger.
For a few weeks thereafter I showed myself as cold and distant as I could to convey my displeasure. My disappointment was so patent that my boss's reaction was not long to come. One morning he said he had changed his mind and would charge me to oversee the alternative justice department amongst other things. In order to guild the pill, he said the promotional budget would only leave space for very few projects and the person in charge would be practically limited to taking care of export certificates. If that was the case, there was a risk that fighting for that position and getting it – which was far from a realistic scenario – I might really end up empty-handed.
My boss described my new task as rewarding, bla bla bla, but I could see no connection whatsoever between my aspirations, interests and skills and the arid matter that seemed all the way removed from my personality. All know how much I like travelling and foreign languages, but obviously either I don't fit with conceived ideas about that role or... well, the speculations could be infinite. As a result, my attitude became even colder and more distant, but there was no negotiating as my superior had specifically pointed out.
What in that whole affair unnerved me most was being jostled around at someone's beck and call. I, like other colleagues involved, had no say. As a matter of fact, the work I had carried out since I have been at the Chamber of commerce has had little to do with my vocation, but I have put up for convenience's sake and wait to fulfil my aspirations outside work hours. Keeping on working in my present position holds little novelty, so a change could indeed be for the better, although unlikely. My main fear is that a surprise could turn out to be a very bad one, and I could fall from the frying pan into the fire. Now that I was confronted with the possibility of a change my deep regret was not being considered for what I felt most skilled to do.
But last Friday I received enlightenment. First, I was summoned by my future boss and felt terribly depressed about my future job; then I went to Milan and attended a meeting for Expo 2015. When I got home in the evening I was fully convinced that my future was there: working in communication would not be bad after all, not bad at all. I had never felt more inspired. I just had to wait till Monday and speak my mind in a tactful respectful way, putting aside that sullen attitude that had marked my last two months. I was only praying it would not be too late, because the board of directors had already discussed the new organisation chart that day, and I was coming terribly late.
Monday was the day when the new appointments were to be made known, but there was a delay and I was able to talk to the director at 11.30 am, still in time for my scheme. My proposal was received favourably, and I should now have a new job, one that lives up to my expectations.