India thrills me. She generously hands out shocks of emotions and grips me with her surprising and varied culture, her crowds of people. She girds her head with the precious crown of the highest mountains on Earth, grand triumph of this extraordinary country. My itinerary headed to the far North, touching significant stages on the way, milestones on my route and lighthouses for as many cultures and civilisations. In order to eventually get to the places where the immensity of nature brings you back to the peace of a turning wheel, the Buddhist prayer wheel, and to the time of a cyclic cosmos depicted in a mandala.

26 July - The first stop in my trip is Helsinki, where I arrive at 11.30 pm. I spend the night at the hostel without really having a good night's sleep, while I test my new down sleeping bag and wonder if it was really a good purchase and apt to meet my needs during this journey. It's a fact that in the time preceding my departure I had a spree of rather hectic arrangements, but I can't say I was able to draw a clear picture that can have me assured on every aspect of the organisation. I have found plenty of information, especially on the internet, and it was exciting to get in touch with so many people who already had or are going to embark on an Indian experience. However, I realised that unproven information that makes you doubt or deviate is so rife on the internet, that gathering the relevant data is time and energy consuming. As a result I am left with a series of open questions on my trip that I refused to settle for two reasons. Firstly because I'm convinced that it's useless to frame time into a schedule and fool yourself into the confidence that you can anticipate decisions that often won't be fully realised at the test of facts. Secondly because I realised that I may have continued studying the matter for ages without getting to the bottom of it, if not on the site and confronted with reality when I am there.

There were pleasant moments of anticipation of the experiences I will live, foretasted satisfactions. I will never forget the morning when I booked my train ticket on line: having that sheet of printed paper in my hands that bore the name of Shatabdi Express made me travel with a joy-filled mind. In contrast to this, I was worried by reasons of serious apprehension. I thought of those cursed roads that I intend to take - but that I'm not disposed to jump over with a flight - the probable cold weather in the extreme elevations, altitude sickness. I saw myself confronted with the problems that afflict Kashmir and near Pakistan with its recent tangled Red Mosque affair, travelling by myself in India. I had moments of alternate feelings on this trip, days in which I flavoured the pleasure of discovering new regions, visiting the Golden Temple, and finally get to the mountains where the Himalayas merge with the Karakorum range... and other times when I recoiled in front of the possible dangers that I morbidly saw pouring over me. I didn't speak out this state of mind in order not to spread my uneasiness to other people, but in the last days I talked with some to make light of this burden.

However thinking negative doesn't help and one must fight it. It's a negative wave that amplifies, paralyses and torments. And in fact I didn't listen to it. Besides, this feeling luckily dispersed with my departure. I wouldn't say that I suddenly became insensitive to the world and that my self acquired a prevalent stance, but I now feel playing the game and with me all those are sitting in this plane to Delhi.

The night has fallen below us and we shall be arriving in India at almost 1 am. I feel secure and protected if only by the thought of so many friends that remembered me and said goodbye before leaving, not to mention relatives, which is superfluous.

• < Prec